Here I am again apologizing for my absence. But something had to give, and that something was taking photos of myself and writing about it. I have been writing (and thinking) a lot recently about change, I'm still thinking, obsessing and working through ALL OF THE THINGS. Seriously, ALL of them.
Constantly, obsessively, spiraling, spiraling, coming to no conclusions because I have no more information to move ahead. And then coming up for air, I realize... That once again, I am a bit of an idiot for letting myself go over and over the same old stuff; there are the things we can control and the things we cannot, and I have to learn to let it all go.
I can't keep losing sleep, I can't keep neglecting the people that give me comfort (the husband has been a bit neglected recently), and I can't continue to ignore my well being and happiness.
Changing things in my life is supposed to make me happy, so why on earth am I so miserable? I am making myself miserable, and I need to stop. But not stop the change, stop the obsessing over the change and the internal struggle of trying to make the "right" decision.
I don't even know what the right decision is...there probably isn't one, there is just THE decision. And once again I am talking in non-specifics. I promise to tell you all as soon as I have it all worked out...Yes I realize that could be never. Hopefully sooner than never.
End rant, sleep now.